The Sunrise That Changed Everything

July 21, 2026

In 2007, I was driving in my car listening to the radio—you know, back when that was a thing. I heard an ad about an Out of the Darkness Walk. I was very into 5Ks and half-marathons at the time and was intrigued. I didn't catch the details until I heard the ad the next time it played.

It was an Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk for Suicide Prevention.

The timing of this walk was incredible. The walk took place about one year after my dad's passing, and while I had been attending therapy, I didn't have community. I was in pain—and a pain that is hard to talk about, especially with my family, who all had their own pain they were, and still are, navigating.

The date on my dad's death certificate says April 19, 2006. And you know, I've never believed that my dad died in the morning. I have always believed he died right after sunset—or perhaps at sunset—but not after the next day dawned, which is what that cold, hard piece of paper says.

So the name of this walk, Out of the Darkness, was even more meaningful to me. Walking through the night in remembrance of my dad's darkest time of his life felt cathartic.

I was at a place in my life where raising money to attend this walk felt like a real barrier, but I wanted it. No, I needed it, and in a way I was not exactly ready for. I raised the money. I think I raffled off a quilt I made, asked everyone to donate, and received matching donations from my employer. It was HARD. At the time, the fundraising minimum was $750. I barely scraped it together—but I did it.

Funny enough, my good friend knew I shouldn't do this alone and joined me as a course bandit!! I appreciated her presence so much. Especially because there were things I was not prepared for.

I was not prepared for people to so openly display pictures of their loved ones on their backpacks, facing the people walking behind them, adorned on their bodies, shirts naming their loved ones. The emotions I was experiencing were hard and heavy.

I wasn't prepared for the sheer number of participants—hundreds of people walked in front of me and behind me - all in honor of someone struggling or who have died by suicide.

I was not prepared to be so emotionally raw and tired as I finished the walk at sunrise, with streets lined by luminaries honoring those lost to suicide. And to see the luminary that I made in remembrance of my dad, Richard Jones.

I didn’t have a photo of the luminary, but here is a photo from Out of the Darkness Walk community walk in, Anchorage, Alaska around 2017.

I think the only thing I was prepared for was the actual distance of the walk—which was just under 20 miles!!

That event was an invitation into the most welcoming, healing, and meaningful group of people I have come to know, love, and be so incredibly thankful for.

The organization, volunteers, and participants have given me:

• The space each year to remember my dad and honor his life.

• The education I needed about what it means to lose someone to suicide.

• The ability to talk about my experience—without crying!!

• And purpose. I have learned to put my grief into action:

  • Through volunteering.

  • Through giving.

  • Through fundraising.

  • Through education.

  • Through advocacy.

  • Through holding space for others.

  • And through offering something as simple as a hug.

I have expanded my volunteer work with AFSP, and it has deepened my healing, my education, my community, and amplified the joy my heart feels in giving back in this space. I am a trained Talk Saves Lives presenter. I've helped organize a community fundraiser. I co-lead our State Advocacy Day. I have attended Advocacy Day in our nation's capital. And I am a Board Member of our state's AFSP chapter.

I live and breathe HOPE because of this work.

I want more people to know about this organization. AFSP's mission is to provide hope to those affected by suicide.

Too many people are touched by suicide loss, and there is a community for you. You are not alone. Check out events occurring in your area. If they happen to be in Washington State, you just might see me there.

Wear Hope. Share Hope.
Nicole